Joke SMSes......

Wife: If I die what'll you do?
Husband: I may also die.
Wife: Why?
Husband: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man!!

Q: What's difference between man & Superman?
A. Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

Q. Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
A. Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.

First man: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Second man: Me too, after u leave!!!

Shayari SMSes.........

Ai mere humnashin chal kahin aur chal,
Is chaman mein ab apna guzaara nahin,
Baat hoti gulon tak to seh lete hum,
Ab to kaanton pe bhi haq hamara nahin.

Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,
Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,
Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,
Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

Soch ko badlo, sitare badal jayeng,
Najar ko badlo, nazare badal jayenge,
Kashtiya badalne ki jarurat nahi,
Dishaon ko badlo, KINARE badal jayenge.

Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,
Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,
Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,
Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!

Zindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai na taal hai,
Msg box bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,
Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

Unka ashiyana dil mein basa rakha hai,
Unki yadon ko seene se laga rakha hai,
Pata nahi yaad aate hain wohi kyun,
Vaise dost to hamne auron ko bhi bana rakha hai.

Pyara sa ehsas ho tum,
har pal mere pas ho tum,
Jine ki ek aas ho tum,
mann ka ek vishwas ho tum,
Shayad is liye.... Kuch khas ho tum.

Ankhein khuli ho to chehra tumhara ho,
Aankhein bandh ho to sapna tumhara ho,
Mujhe maut ka dar na hoga,
Agar kafan ki jagah dupatta tumhara ho.

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.

Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye,
Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye,
Taj na banaiye costly padega,
Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye.

Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,Jab wo jage to dhire se 'Muskarana',Phir kehna "KANJUS" SMS karo!

Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun,
Dil mein gum rakhta hun,
Pata tha SMS ayega tera,
Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun.

Aaj didar,
kal yaar,
parson pyaar,
phir ekrar,
phir intezar,
phir takrar,
phir darar,
sari mehnat bekar,
aur aakhir mein ek aur devdas at beer bar.

Zindagi ko ek rangin kalpana samjho,
Subah ko sach raat ko sapna samjho,
Bhulana chahte ho sabhi gamo ko to,
Zindagi me mujhe apna samjho.

Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,
Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

Message pe message bhejte ho,
bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte bhi ho to bhejte ho,
khud ka bheja to chalta nahin,
doosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!

Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,
Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.

Na khwabon me dekha,
na nazaron me dekha,
Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.

Zindagi Taj Mahal ho jaye,
Chandani khil ke kamal ho jaye,
Tum jo ban jaao dost mere,
Dil ki dhadkan bhi ek Ghazal ho jaye.

Toot jaate hain sabhi rishte magar,
Dil se dil ka raabta apni jagah,
Dil ko hai tujh se na milne ka yakeen,
Tujh se milne ki dua apni jagah.

Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan waste,
Tussi ronde ho saanu rulaan waste,
Tussi ek vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jawange tuhanu manaan waste!

Ajnabi galiyon se hum gujra nahi karte,
dard-e-dil liya aur diya nahi karte,
Ye dosti ka rishta sirf tum se hai,
varna itne SMS hum kisiko kiya nahi karte.

Yeh such hai doston kisi se pyaar na karna,
Kabhi kisi ka aitbaar na karna,
Tham ke khanjar apne hi hathon mein,
Bedardi se apne dil par vaar na karna.

Teaser SMSes...

I Saw You On Road Today.
U were Luking so fine,Ur Face so divine,Ur Walk so perfect.
My heart started singing a song :
" who let the dogs out ?"

Sincere Apology: If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read them, then plz dont hesitate, feel free to.....
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throw ur mobile in the garbage!!

I’ve written nice poem 4 you:
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
You should Know What you R,
& Once you Know What you R,
Mental Hospital is not So Far...!

If I had a camera,
I'll snap ur every moment,
every smile,
every memory,
n keep in my kitchen...
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to scare the mice!!

3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv.
another playing football...
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and the third one was caught reading this txt message!!!

Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai,
birds log gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain,
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain!!

Sardar Joke Sms..

A man:Santa where were u born
Sardar: punjab.
Man: which part??
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in Punjab".

A sardar was asked to write essay abt father but he studied only on friend. so he replaced the word friend as father,he wrote essay like this i have lot of fathers my neighbour is my best father,finally he ended as a father in need is father in deed!!

Sardar1: can u spell the word which contains more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar2: "POST BOX"

Banta and Santa were walking outsideWhen the Santa said "Oh, look at the dead bird".
Banta looked skyward and said "Where, where?".

Q.Why can't Banta Singh dial 911?
A. He cannot find eleven on the phone....!

A sardar , was missing his passport size photo in a crowded bus.
he was searching & found it just below the lady and told
"pls madam lift ur saree i want to take photo"..!!

A dog was chasing a Sardarand the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar:I have aAirtel card but still hutch network is following!!!

4 Hitech Sardar Inventions:
1) Waterproof Towel
2) Solar Powered torch
3) Book on how 2 read!4
4) Pedal powered Wheel chair!

Nurse Boli: mubarak ho sardarji aap papa bangaye
Sardar: Meri wife ko nahi bolna... Mein use surprise dunga!

Q.How did sardar try to kill the bird he caught?
A.he took it to the top of the building and dropped it from there to die!!

Sardarji is irritated of jokes made on him. he goes to his wife and says ''tell me the joke in which i'm not involved''
wife:- i'm pregnant!!

A sardar gone for an interview for the post of a detective
Manager: who killed gandhiji?
Sardar thx for giving me the job, i will investigate..!

Harbhajan Singh gets married.
During suhag raat he asks his wife"r u a virgin ?"
she replies:" kar di na sardaron wali baat,Spinner ko kabhi nayi ball mili hai...!

Sardar joins army, given AK 47.
He's puzzled.
Asks major, Sir, yeh bandook ki nalli samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga!!!

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa falls in luv with a nurse...
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her:
"I luv u sister."

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
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Ismein aur colour dikhayiye!!!

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai,
hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

A lady asked Santa, the shopkeeper: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.

Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms.
"By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

At a football match ground.
Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains?
"A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."